Working with Kids - Lesson 1 - I AM THE ADULT

Working with kids you learn so much about yourself, life, love and sin!  I love the quote by John Rosemond in Parenting by The Book.  He says, "No matter how good a parent you are, your child is still capable on any given day of doing something despicable, disgusting, or depraved."

One of the most important lessons that I have learned and am still learning is that I AM THE ADULT!!!  I have to tell myself this a lot.  Some days this is just implied within myself and some days I have to repeat it over and over to myself.

When we first became house parents, we were having a lot of trouble with this one girl.  One afternoon we took her to our bosses office to talk about her behavior in the cottage and at school.  When we were leaving, my boss (a woman I respect tremendously when it comes to child care) said to me, "Tracy, you're the adult, don't let her run over you."  And almost 5 years later I am still repeating this to myself.

Most of the time this comes in little decisions of the day. "Can we go outside?"  Who doesn't want to say no to that, kids outside playing, not watching tv or playing video games!?  But sometimes this question comes after we have been out with the boys all day, the laundry and dishes still aren't done and we are tired, so at these times I have to remind myself that I am the adult, we all need resting time and that I can say no.  Another example is food - it seems like we eat the same meals all the time and we definitely want the boys to like what they eat, but then I remind myself that I am the adult and I have to add veggies that they don't like (and I don't like) and that it is important for them to try new foods, so I add them to the menus!!!

The most memorable revelation of I am the adult came as I was wagging my finger at a 7 year old.  We were talking about his behavior; well, we were supposed to be, when he got me off task by making a comment about something I did.  Now, working with the girls, we were definitely prepared for them saying something to get you off task, but seeing how skilled a 7 year old can be at it is SUPER frightening.  I stopped in the middle of my sentence defending myself, realized I was defending my actions to a 7 year old and just left the room feeling ridiculous.  And, of course, learning from that our go-to answer for a question devised to get us off task has become "What does that have to do with your behavior?"

I think we all know that working with kids (or people) we are going to make mistakes and we all know it's important to model asking forgiveness because we do things wrong.  However, we teach the kids we work with that they are responsible to make the right choice no matter if we or anyone else makes a wrong choice.  And then you have to process what the right choice is.  For example, if I raise my voice to you and you don't like it because you think I'm yelling at you, is it the right thing for you to start cussing at me??  You know, those kinds of talks!!

I think this is one of the many reasons why parenthood is so hard and so important - it is not only physically taxing, but mentally exhausting - you always have to be on the look out for that sin nature!!

Truck Cakes

I was asked to make a truck cake for my nephew - after throwing the first attempt away because I didn't know what exactly to do with it (I get my temper from my daddy), I found a firetruck that seemed simple and this is what we came up with!!

Note that I added 2 bottles of red food coloring to 2 things of white frosting and it still only turned a dark pink - guess I learned for next time!!

 This is the cake just for J - he torn into it!!

Fall Table 2014

Went through the fall stuff we have 2 weeks late, btw and didn't have any inspiration for what to do, so this is what happened!  Enjoy!!

Peppa Pig Cake

So, I was asked to make my niece's birthday cake again this year- a Peppa Pig cake. 

This is a 12-inch round cake, with a 6-inch cake attached for the nose and cake cut out to make the ears.  I iced it with just some store bought pink icing, then colored some royal icing to make the outline and face of Peppa.  Enjoy!

Our Adoption Story

So, since we have officially gotten into the adoption program (in March) I thought we might like to post the story!  And now I'm finally getting around to it!

It's just not happening right now!!!  For the last few years Andy and I have been praying for a family and it's just not happening right now!  Let me be clear to say that we haven't gone through tests or lots of doctors or lots of stress the way most people who have adopted have, and we aren't sure we will ever actually do that, but we do understand how devastating that can be for couples and pray for peace in those situations.

That being said, we are super excited that The Lord is starting our family through adoption!  We started in October 2013 and officially received an invitation into the Domestic Infant Adoption Program through Children's Home Society of NC in March 2014.  As of now, we are a waiting family.  The agency gives our information and profile to mothers making an adoption plan and when The Lord is ready, one of the mothers will pick us to be her baby's forever family!!!  We could get a call saying that a mother wants to meet us, or a call saying that a baby is ready for us.  It could be days, weeks or months....so we are waiting!

Needless to say, we have been reading a lot of books on adoption trying to be the best prepared we can be to love and care for our child.  And lots of books on baby rearing - naps, feeding, colic - you know, baby stuff!  We pray The Lord will continue to grow our family through birth, adoption and/or fostering.

I wanted to share a quote from one of the books that was recommended for us (and I would definitely recommend to anyone adopting).  The book is called the Post Adoption Blues by Karen Foli and John Thompson.

"...no adoptive family is exempt from questions that are unreasonably personal.  This familiarity-from strangers and acqaintances alike-stems from the notion that once you have adopted, you are "fair game."  You have gone outside of birth to bring a child into your family, and therefore you have signed away certain inherent rights that a family that does not reach into socity for a child retains.  In other words, you have been given a child from society and as such, you owe society an explanation.  The child is common property between society and you.  By signing up for adoption, you relinquish privacy, intimacy, and the ability to remain silent."

Now, if you know me and Andy, you know that we are open to talk about anything.  We answer any question honestly because we feel that if we are successful at something it is helpful to answer and if we are not it is helpful to get answers.  Adoption is no exception - is it painful to talk about sometimes when friends around us have been having their babies?   Some of them like crazy!??  Yes, but we lean on Jesus and His plan for us, not what others would have for us!  It is interesting that our society views adoption this way even if people would not actually say this to anyones face!!  

Another question that has come up for us already is, "What if it has more medical problems than you are prepared for?"  My answer to that is, "What would I do if a birth child had more medical problems that I was prepared for?"  Does ANYONE really believe Holly and Mike would have given up Brandon because he came with more medical problems than they were prepared for at the time?  OF COURSE NOT!!!  So, why would we?

We know The Lord has a person in mind for us that will fit right in to our quirky home and compliment our personalities.  I am truly excited to see how Jesus is going to continue to use us for His will and purpose!!!

And, as always we are ready to take your advice and if you have any books you think we should read, please let us know!!!

Tracy and Andy

Spring Tablescape

Found some simple ideas on Pintrest and this is what our Spring table looks like!

Fall Tablescape

I LOVE Fall.  It is my favorite time of year as the trees turn colors and the leaves fall off the trees!  This was fun to do!

This was how our table looked this past fall:

I think this year I will add plates!!